Why Watching Trump Win is Painful

I never thought Trump was funny. I never thought watching him run for office was funny. Watching his rise to power has been frightening and emotionally crushing for me. I’ve wanted to write something before, but I feel an overwhelming helpless when I think about it, because his followers are so hate filled and irrational that it seems as it nothing I say will reach them or change their minds.

But after the horrible displays of hate over the weekend, after the Nazi salutes and cries of “Heil Hitler” from his fans, I can’t stay silent.

Trump is one man. But he has power because he is tapping into the hate that a lot of people feel for others. And it saddens me to see that hatred so openly flaunted.

No, I never had any delusions that we lived in a post racial society. People holding racist and xenophobic attitudes is nothing new. But the openness with which they are displaying them are.  And it’s not just distasteful hate symbols, people have been assaulted at his rallies. Trump has even thought about paying the legal fees of those who engage in such violence!

What truly scares me is his if “you’re not with us, you’re against us,” mentality, and if you dare to disagree with Trump, then you deserve to be roughed up or killed.

And this is why Trump has always scared me. He reminds me of the people who bullied me in elementary school. Yes, I was different. But my difference was not even tolerated much less celebrated. I was ridiculed, called a “retard”, physically assaulted, cornered against walls while people shouted out me.

And I told the teacher. And I became the troublemaker because I told the teacher.

The teacher and administrative staff have the power in schools. And they encouraged the bullying because the kids who were bullying had parents who were active in the PTA and they did not want to alienate them. At one point the assistant principal sat down with me at lunch and, in front of the whole class, blamed me and told me that I wouldn’t be bullied if I stopped reading and tried to interact more with my classmates. Then she threatened to put me in an alternate program if I didn’t get along with my classmates.

I want to emphasize I was never violent. I never said a mean thing to them. I was very quiet and, when I’m stressed or scared, I tend to become more so. My sole crime for this assistant principal to focus on was that I was reading too much. At school.

My parents had to take me out of that school and homeschool me for a few months while they researched other schools in the area that would be more pro-active against bullying.

Here’s the thing. Trump is no different from the assistant principal who told me to play nice with others. He is making a scapegoat of people who have the least say in our political process. The people in power in the country are predominantly rich white Christian men, not Muslims, not immigrants, not the poor, not blacks, not women. The people in power make the rules, not the other way around. People in power do not cater to the underdogs. Representation matters!

Further, diversity matters. Here’s the thing, I think very highly of myself, but I don’t think so highly of others. When people reject me, I place the blame on them for not being open minded enough, even though it hurts. Because I want to be appreciated for my talents and for my opposing points of view. But too often I feel like I’m that annoying voice who is arguing against what everyone else wants to believe. My life experiences are unique and bring something to the table.

Same with Muslims, and immigrants, and poor and blacks. I went to high school in an area with a large immigrant population and, since a lot of them were non-Christian, I tended to get along with people from Vietnam and India better than white people. No matter where they were from, I got to see their humanity up hand and personal, and see the value that they brought to our country.

But Trump and his supporters don’t want to hear it. They want to shut down people who think different and who are different. They don’t even want people who are different to have a voice. This is not a democracy. This is totalitarianism. In a democracy, even people who are in the minority have rights and protections.

And I am distraught that so many people are supporting him. Seeing people cheer on a bully after what happened to me growing up? It makes me indescribably sad. Seeing people so willing to hand him power? It makes me fearful.

America, we should be better than this. But as he comes closer to securing the Republican nomination, well, I’ve not been this disappointed in our electorate since Bush won in 2004.


6 thoughts on “Why Watching Trump Win is Painful

  1. ofhisgloryblog

    Friend, I can see that you had really rough childhood, no one can alter time, and go back to fix the severe mistakes severe sins that were done against you.
    But one person still offers hope, he loves you a lot, and he has conquered the world with its good and and things. His name is Jesus. i know by now you probably want to hate me to the point of killing me, for speaking to you about Jesus, but I tell you what friend, if that brings faith in you, and if that beings peace in your heart. Then I would gladly die in your hands, choosing to forgive you. Not because its you, but because that’s what Jesus has taught me all the way long. And if I’m Christian, not a Fake one, then yes thats also possible.


    1. roianna Post author

      You know my husband is a Christian, and he despairs when he thinks about the possibility of Trump winning the presidency, so somehow I don’t think Jesus is the answer. That is why I am focusing on teaching people to be more tolerant. That will get us a lot farther than a Jesus pep talk.


      1. ofhisgloryblog

        Friend you reject us Christians its okay. Will accept it, but please do not say anything to Jesus because you are making the same fool of yourselves which you are claiming Christians to be. That Intolerant and blah blah blah. May God find in his heart to forgivr you and give you a new life. A life where you are not so blinded by hatred. I can tell you friend. There is no difference between you and Adolf Hitler. If you get the resources I’m sure you’ll make a fine auschwitz for all of us. But if that gives you peace. It’s okay will forgive you too. To make a point that we are not like you. We forgive people. We do not nurture hatered. Amd Keep on boggling it down.


      2. roianna Post author

        Wow, I am asking to agree to disagree and calling for tolerance. And you are comparing me to Hitler. It really bugs you that an atheist has the moral high ground, does’t it? You are slandering me and bullying me. One more time, and I will ban you.


      3. ofhisgloryblog

        Friend I can only show you one thing before you can ban me. Wikipedia says Atheism is, in the broadest sense, the absence of belief in the existence ofdeities.Less broadly, atheism is the rejection of belief that any deities exist. In an even narrower sense, atheism is specifically the position that there are no deities.
        #Now you only said I cannot prove That God does not exist. So that does make you to belive in God and thus you become a theist. Right.
        #You know before I was born again I was an aethist I was like you, worse I had so much pride. I just wanted to destroy women from the face of the earth. Because of my childhood abuse and persecution. Which well you only know one line off. However. God broke my pride. He made me humble. And the more I resisted the more I was getting chained in my own hatered. Trust me for 1 year I suffered like hell, and I do not want any one not even my worst enemy to go through. I went to a phycatrist I went to palmist I went to everywhere but the Church but to God. And no one if those fake clamimg to be God helped me. Then on the verge of committing suicide which was a part of my everyday schedule. One day I kneeled before God the Father before Jesus and before the Spirit. And said if you are there help me. And thats not just my story I can show you a million stories like this. But you wont believe right? Its okay not to believe. I did not too when my life was happy. When I had everything I turned my back on my God, which was so wrong. And day by day I Lost them all. Now I do not want that to happen to you my friend. But I can tell you that thats where you are headed. And I tell you friend. I lost my family my relationships my everything. Though they were with me, yet I have made them my enemy. My hatered made them my enemy who wanted to love me. Well what to say every party has to end when the Sun comes up. I’m yours too will end. Not that I want that but I can assure you of that. Your own actions will one day make you bend your knees to God. Trust me a creation cannot fight its creator and win thats impossible. And thr very fact that you are not dead yet or I was not dead that time when I was full of hatered. Blinded by hatered. Is because God loved us. And wanted to see how much down we can go how much mean we can become.
        You know one thing about God that I kind of like and sometimes dislike the most is He never Forces. Though he can but never does that. He will just foolishly love us even to the death on the cross. Being said that I kmow that you will ban me now Because before someone’s downfall Satan makes they think they are rising up. He gives them freedom when he alone is trapped and chained in Hell. Lol Isnt that funny? I forgive you for rejecting me continuously I forgive you for rejecting my God. I have done what best I can for my conscience is clear. Its high time I step down and let God take over. May whoever you believe in protect your hatered. Because when My God’s love will come. Youll be a changed women.
        Lastly, I know apart from our religion I still did not find anything that differentiates us, but when you want to create division I can only try to bring those walls down so that we can one day be friends. God Bless. good bye my dear friend. Hallelujah I praise his holy name. Amen.


      4. roianna Post author

        I’m the one creating division? Where have I said believe exactly what I believe or I’ll harass and insult you? I have validated your right to believe differently, and have only asked that you accept my right to have different beliefs. You haven’t.
        You are the one preaching at me and not accepting that I had a right to disagree. You are coming to my page uninvited, telling me I am hateful, comparing me to Hitler, accusing me of wanting to beat people, because I am an atheist, even though I challenge you to find one thing on my blog about wanting to beat people or murder them en masse! I have called many times for tolerance and to agree to disagree, and you have harassed and insulted me and continued to preach at me. I have not preached at you. I have affirmed your right multiple times to believe what you want to believe. I have told you that if Christianity is what you found to help you, good. I have refused to debate with you about whether or not god exists because I have no interest in converting you. You have failed at every instance to show me the same tolerance and respect. You slandered me. You have trampled on my boundaries and made huge and wrong assumptions about my life. And, though you don’t realize it, you just proved that no matter how moral atheists are, we will still be slandered by Christians because we believe in one less god than everyone else.

        You have not changed my mind about Christians. You have shown yourself to be extremely intolerant and overbearing. You have beautifully illustrated that all of the grievances I have laid out in my previous posts are valid and just have perpetuated in the bad reputation that Christianity has.


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